Elise's Journal

1:27am: Good Quote
You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got, and remember what you had, always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember life goes on

9:48am: Think About It...

11:58am: "God or the Girl" is a freaking awesome show! It's helping me so much right now. Granted, I never have to choose between marriage and working in the church because I'm not Catholic, but there are so many other choices out there beyond working in the church. And this show is awesome because it's other people my age who are struggling with the same choice of living a life in ministry or living a more secular life.

11:18am: AFRAID TO LOVE

Some people search for love their entire lives

And never find it

Some people have love waiting at their door

Yet fail to acknowledge its presence

Some people reject love

Because they were never given it

Some people reject love

Because it’s to good to be true

Some people miss their blessings in similar fashions

While the obvious is sometimes known

Love is more than a physical attraction

It’s an overwhelming force that bonds two together

And it’s that force that can last forever

Some people are afraid to love

Because of past experiences

And maybe rightfully so

But true love is everlasting

And not a one person show

Afraid to love some people may be

Rejecting love is all they know

For love must be shown for it to grow

To love, you must have been loved

And to give love, one must embody love

So there’s no need to repress it

Open up your heart and accept it.

12:25am: Good Quotes...
Here's some quotes that are helping me a lot right now... perhaps you'll enjoy some of them as well...

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-Robert Frost

All quotes from the great Dolly Parton:
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

"Storms make trees take deeper roots."

"You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try."

"I hope people realise that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs"

"If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one."

"I have got little feet because nothing grows in the shade"

"I will shed the sins and struggles, I have carried all these years. And I'll leave my heart wide open, I will love and have no fear."

A Quote from Rent:
"Forget regret or life is yours to miss"

11:15pm: Make your day Sunny! Send me all your money!
Please support me as I take an amazing journey in the fight against breast cancer! The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. Net proceeds benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and the National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment.
I am choosing to do this walk because my mom is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed when she was pregnant with me, which made the challenge even harder for her and my family. I'm so glad that she made a full recovery because she's my best friend and I don't know where I'd be without her!
Please, click the link below and consider donating just $5 to support me and the fight against breast cancer. $5... that's the cost of one Starbucks coffee!

Please consider supporting me, or maybe asking your parents or other people you know to support me. My fundrasing goal is $3,000 and that's going to be a hard goal to meet!
Please go to www.the3day.org/dallas06/eliserachel if you'd be interested in supporting me. I can also mail you a contribution form if you'd prefer that.

12:37pm: WTF?
So as if I wasn't already unhappy enough at this stupid school, now they want to put me on fucking academic probation? (excuse me french!) What for? I made the president's list (that's all A's) last semester and transfered in with a 3.09 GPA! Why the hell do I need to be on academic probation? Anyone who knows me knows I don't belong on academic probation! WTF? I wanna go home! No... I don't wanna go home, I want to become a nun and join a fucking convent. (Again... excuse my french but I'm incredibly pissed off right now.)

2:03pm: :)
So I think I met a boy. Well... I know I met a boy, cause you can tell he's a boy when you look at him and I definately did meet him. But I think I met a really nice boy to date. It's nice. My rating of my experience at this school has now gone up to 7.75 on a scale of 1-10.

12:51am: So my new school...
Great classes... Intro to Theology, all bible based. Just gotta read the first 15 chapters of Genesis for next class... isn't that great?! Spanish Language and Culture II, it's Spanish... I've already learned a lot of this stuff but my only problem is pronounciation (I killed that spelling!) because I learned to speak Spanish in the U.P. where English usually isn't even pronounced correctly! Violin Lessons... I get credit for showing up for 1/2 an hour once a week! Swimming and Emergency Rescue... yeah... I get credit for swimming. Learning Process and Evaluation... it's educational psychology. I dunno... the class seems like it's gonna be kinda tough but it counts towards my major! And finally I have American Poetry and Drama... so far I like what I've had to read!
My roommate and our suitemate are really nice. They're absolutely nothing like me... but they're nice. I've been hanging out with them and their friends but I really have to make my own friends. Soon. I really want to get involved in stuff so that I'm not just sitting on the computer 24/7 but the cheerleading coach doesn't want to let someone on the team in the middle of the year and I didn't sign up for string ensemble because I don't feel good enough right now and I just haven't found anything to get involved in yet. So I'm really lonely, and it kind of sucks.
On a scale of 1-10 so far I rate this a 5.

5:25pm: I got a new straightener!
So everyone who commented said not to cut my hair... but I did anyway. And I think it looks better.
Before/After:

See... now that wasn't so bad was it?!

12:26am: So me and Erika learned something exciting this week... we can easily trick our parents. Our voices are almost exactly alike. If our parents can't see our mouths, they have to ask who's talking! It's crazy. And... we look alike now too! Like she got contacts today and I was wearing my glasses, and so it was like we reversed our "roles" (for lack of better word) and even taking quick glances at pictures on the camera we could get ourselves confused! It's weird!

11:30pm: So I'm in Key West right now... with my mom and sister. We went shopping and just hung out in the city tonight and we went into one jewelry store... I found my future engagement ring. The lady even let me try it on! It was gorgeous! And only $24,000 :-D

5:34pm: 2005... yup!
2005
1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
- I've had worse
2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
- Beginning of the Spring Semester... living out home... dating T.J.... cheerleading; tons of happy things
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
- I'm not sure... maybe I'll get back to you...
4) Where were you when 2005 began?
- Ecklid's house... weird.
5) Who were you with?
- I went there with Jake and Jon... and I was smashed and Jake was taking care of me...
6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
- Hopefully getting smashed.
7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
- Really not sure...
8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
- I didn't have one.
9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
- I will, I'm just not sure what it is yet.
10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
- Nope
11) If yes, with who?
-
12) If yes, do they know?
-
13) Are you still in love with them?
-
14) Do you regret it?
-
15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
- Not really, but that's only because I didn't really have a boyfriend.
16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
- Tons
17) Who are your favorite new friends?
- Marcie, Karen...
18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
- March
19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
- Mexico...
20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
- I think eight... possibly more though.
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
- Yeah
22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
- Lots of people
23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
- Probably Rent
24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
- oooooh... I dunno...
25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
- New Casting Crowns CD
26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
- 4 like concert concerts... but I saw the Naples Philharmonic Orchestra this week... that would make 5.
27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
- Probably BarlowGirl, Paul Coleman and the Newsboys
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
- I've been sober since April.
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
- None
30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
- Wow... isn't that personal?
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
- Perhaps
33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
- I caught T.J. in a lie... it wasn't devastating but I think he wins the award.
34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
- Not really... atleast I don't think so.
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
- Maybe a bit
36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
- No more than I made...
37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
- Today... getting all A's this semester. Or perhaps the day I made cheerleading... or Maybe last Friday when I found out I was accepted to TLU... I had a few good moments...
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
- When I walked through the screen door at Matt's house!
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
- I wouldn't have even met Matt
40) What are your plans for 2006?
- Move to Texas and totally rock their world!

10:54am: Go dawgs!
I got admitted to TLU!!! I just found on Friday. I'm excited but I haven't gotten to celebrate because no one else cares :-\ But here's me pretending that I'm happy...

10:43am: Hair
So I've been growing my hair out for over two years... I haven't gotten very far... this is how far I've gotten:

But now I'm really tempted to get it chopped off before I move to Texas... but the problem is when I started growing it I said I was going to grow it out long enough so that when I got it cut again I could donate it... but I'd only get like 4 inches cut off in the front and 6 in the back... so I dunno if I should keep it until it's long enough to donate and then cut it, or just cut if off before I go to Texas.

11:13pm: Semester's almost over!
So all I have left is one final! Plus a little bit of extra credit that I'm doing for fun. My final grade in Computers was a 103.72% which is of course, an A. And I'm pretty sure that I got an A in both American History and Composition 2 and right now I have a 100.14% in statistics and if I do the extra credit and get 100% on the final, I could finish the class with a 104.something%
Also... beyond just that, I took a CLEP test this week... Natural Science. I got a 62 on a scale of 20 to 80 and I only needed a 50 to pass, so I got 6 credits just for taking that test! Woo!
So now all I have left to do is take my stats final and turn in my extra credit and then move out of my dorm. I'm going to try and take 3 more CLEP tests too but I'm going to be done with FGCU in less than one week! Then it's off to Texas!

5:38pm: I hate this holiday...
So 4 years ago on this stupid holiday, I lost my virginity. Something I've regretted for a long time and something that I'll never have back fully.
3 years ago on this stupid holiday I tried killing myself and was hospitalized for a week. Mostly because of my dad and partly because of Nate.
I don't remember thanksgiving from 2 years ago very well... I think my sister was down here and I think I spent a good portion of it crying.
Last year I spent it at my parents' house. I didn't eat any of the stupid food and didn't enjoy any of it.
This year I started my period on Wednesday night. 2 hours after that I got the stomach flu and that lasted for a good 12 hours of puking... then after that I developed hives... and I've barely eaten since Wednesday. Then my parents went out for their drunk fest last night. They were both wasted when they got home last night, my dad was his usual annoying self when he's drunk. Then this morning he wondered why I was mad at him. Maybe because he told me to go to bed like 20 times at 10:30 last night? I dunno... but I told him it was because he was acting really stupid last night. and his repsonse? "Well... you're stupid." Real mature... not only that, but then my mom defended him. Just like she defended him both times that he's hit me. She says they talk about things when I'm not around... what that had to do with anything I don't know... but it made me feel like now it's all about the two of them. So I left.
And I'm really not sure whether or not I want to try and make things okay with me and my mom. It would be really easy to just not see her that much anymore. I love my mom... but not when she takes my dad's side when she knows I'm right. There's no reason he should get away with calling me stupid. Or calling me anything for that matter... and the fact that she defends him really hurts me. And I think about it, and we're really not a family at all. It's me & my mom... my sister & my mom... and my dad & my mom. There's no family, no reason for me to continue putting up with it. I'd like to maybe maintain a relationship with my mom, but not if she's always going to be taking my dad's side on stuff. I'm just really hurt by the fact that she won't stand up for me, or even agree with me that it's wrong for him to call me stupid. And I know it would be hard at first, but I think it might just be better for me if I just move on with my life without having my "family" around to call me names and beat me up.

7:58pm: The best part of the holidays is the joy of coming home to be completely annoyed by my parents... like how when they talk to me while eating... as if their chewing wasn't annoying enough now they've began talking with their mouths full?
They really can be incredibly annoying... but particularly around meal time. How does one make noise while eating noodles? Yes, noodles! Do get me wrong, I love them to death, but it's really really annoying.

7:21pm: Why not just have sex?
So since my roommate and her boyfriend are in the living room laying on top of each other... I'm going to hide out in my room and do surveys... ready? Here we go!

Everything Anyone Ever Wanted To Know About You
The Basic Stuff
Name?: Elise Rachel
Age?: Age doesn't matter unless you're cheese or fine wine
Height?: 5'
Weight?: 97 last week... more than that now
Birthday?: March the 6th
Birthplace?: Marquette, MI
Current Location?: Fort Myers, FL
School/Grade?: 2nd year at FGCU
Zodiac Sign?: Pisces
Chinese Zodiac Sign?: Come again?
Righty or Lefty?: righty
Haircolor?: blonde & brown & red
Eyecolor?: multi
Skin Color?: Pretty darn white right now
About You
What's Your Family Situation (Parents, Siblings, etc)?: Parents are still married... live about 20 minutes away, I have an older sister who lives in MI and a diabetic dog that lives with my parents. Oh yeah... and then there's my 40 something year old cousin who lives with my parents too...
Any Pets?: See above...
If So What Are They?: Alright... there's charlie the diabetic dog
Favorite Relative?: my mom & sister
Least Favorite Relative?: I'm allowed to hate family?
What's Your Heritage/Race?: Finnish
Political Affilation?: I suppose you could call me an anti-bush Republican
Love & Sex
Sexuality?: Straight
Are You In A Relationship Now?: no...
If So, With Whom?:
For How Long?: I said no... do you have to keep rubbing it in?
Are You In Love?: no
Do You Have A Crush On Anyone?: kind of... not really.
Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex?: no
How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss?: 13
Virgin?: born again
If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time?: 14
Was It Enjoyable?: can sex be enjoyable when you're that young?
What's The Farthest You've Ever Gone?: sex.
Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed?: Neck... and lips... and cheek... and forehead... and everywhere.
Best Love Quote?: "Love is patient, Love is kind..." All of 1 Cor. 13:4-7
Your Friends
Best?: My mom
How Many Do You Have?: I have a large amount of friends but not too many close ones.
More Guys Or Girls?: Guys probably
Love Them All?: Usually
Any You Wish You Were Closer To?: sure
Oldest?: My mom ha ha
Newest?: Marcie I think
Pen Pal?: not really
Friends And Words: Associate Them
Pen: cil
Flower: power
Pink: I don't think I get the idea of this...
Window: ouch
Heart: black
Mother: Mommy!
Bread: Panera
Insane: I don't suffer from it; I enjoy every minute of it
Sunglasses: I'm bad at this
Pimp: I give up!
Cross: word
Lonely: what?
Car: are we done?
Music: how about now?
This Or That
Boxers or Briefs?: boxers
Thongs or G-Strings?: g-strings
Shorts or Pants?: pants
Shoes or Barefeet?: shoes... do you realize how many germs you can get by going barefoot?
Books or Movies?: Neither
Night or Day?: night
Dark or Light?: dark
Mountains or Beach?: mountains
Snow or Sun?: both
Pepsi or Coke?: neither
Guys or Girls?: guys
Swim or Surf?: swim
For or Against
Gay Marriage?: against
Abortion?: against
Bush Getting Re-elected?: against
Suicide?: against
War?: against
Pants?: for
Clothes In General?: for
Penises?: I don't have one; so I lack an opinion on that...
Favorites
Color?: pink & brown
Number?: 28
Holiday?: Christmas
Season?: Winter
Movie?: Happy Gilmore, Bruce Almighty & Pirates of the Caribbean
Book?: The Davinci Code
Magazine?: American Cheerleader ha ha
Food?: Tacos
Drink?: Diet-Caffiene free sodas
TV Show?: 7th Heaven
Song?: Letters to the President by Hawk Nelson
Band?: Hawk Nelson & Relient K
Computer Game?: the Sims
Video Game?: Mario Kart 64
Anime/Manga?: what?
Shirt?: I'm not sure
Pants?: the ones that I have no idea how the hell I fit into them
Actor?: none
Actress?: none
Singer?: Steven Curtis Chapman
Flower?: White lilies & roses
Scent?: perfumes
Animal?: dolphins
Cookie?: chocolate with peanut butter chips
The Future
Want To Go To College?: I'm there...
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: a wife & mom
Want To Get Married?: yes
Want To Have Kids?: yes
What Would Their Names Be?: Biblical names...
How Many?: 4 or more
Where Do You Want To Live?: Texas or somewhere that I can snowboard
Where Do You Want To Get Married?: a Lutheran church... keyword Lutheran
How Do You Want To Die?: make it slow and painful please... j/k!
More Stuff About You
Piercings?: 10 in ears & belly button
Tattoos?: yeah, on my back
Smoke?: nope
Drink?: nope
Do Drugs? nope
Skinny Dip?: not recently
Greatest Fear?: Airbags
Chocolate or Vanilla?: chocolate
Go To Church?: eh...
Religion?: Christian
Scars?: yeah... just a few
CDs Owned?: mostly Christian CD's
Collections?: post cards & ticket stubs & rings
Like To Be Naked?: not really... not gonna lie.
Ever Eaten Sushi?: ha ha no.
An Entire Case Of Oreos?: no
Been On Stage?: yes
Danced In The Rain?: kind of?
Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex?:
Weirdest Dream?: I dunno
Best Dream?: I got married
Saddest Dream?: I dunno
Dream You Most Wish Would Come True?: I'd get married
Think You're Attractive?: sure. Why not? God made me beautiful.
Shoplifted?: Yeah... long time ago
Been Caught "Doing Something"?: yeah
Weirdest Makeout Place?: I'm not sure
Like Thunderstorms?: yeah
Favorite Shoes?: that's hard... probably my fake chucks right now
Favorite Quote?: Preach the Gospel always; use words when necessary. St. Francis of Assissi
Best Advice Given?: "Date the Nerds" Mr. Don Pelt!
Worst Advice Given?: I dunno
Favorite Song Lyric?: hmmm...
What Quote Says Most About Your Life?: I dunno
Glad This Is Over?: Not gonna lie... I'm thrilled!

10:34am: The only part that's wrong is the marriage part...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

10:30am:

You're a Shy Kisser

You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out But you've got plenty of intensity in return

6:46pm: My AWESOME Halloween costume!

11:50am: Who wants to teach me how to put a picture in my journal?

12:29am: So me and my mom drove up to Savannah, GA to see Courtney Eloi tonight. It was pretty cool to see her again. But it seemed like her step-mom talked to me more than she did it... but it happens. It was funny though... I fell asleep on the drive up there and then my mom woke me up to tell me that we were near Savannah and just as I was calling Courtney we went past a sign that said "South Carolina Welcomes You" ha ha so we had to turn around...

So anyways... Georgia's not much fun but oh well... I have stuff I could write about but I actually really don't feel like it. I'm so bored and all I do is sit online, but I get bored of everything there is to do online.

Anyone got any suggestions for fun websites?

11:39pm: Let's talk about sex baby...
So we're just chilling in our hotel in Brunswick, Georgia... and my mom put on the TV and there's some show about sex on... and it's just really awkward!